RECCE ROOM

More of Pops' legacy - the Google map picture of his place and he is mowing the lawn in the pictures.  Haha. Classic. 

Pops would have said that this bathroom is "bisexual."

Pops used to call unsweet tea, " Sour Tea ." That changed a bit over the years to "diet tea." I suspect that the reason it changed is because more folks understood what "diet tea" was over "sour tea." Well, sure enough, the other day I saw a brand of tea which was unsweetened labeled,  "Diet Tea." Wish I could have shown Pops.

If we   had some eggs,  we could have some ham & eggs... If we had some ham.  - Pops

When I was in my teens, our neighbor came over one day, and had a question for Pops.  Since Pops was an engineer, could he help the neighbor's kids with their soap box derby car.  He asked if there was any way to fill it with lead so the kids would win? The cars were still solid blocks of wood.  A few moments at the bandsaw and sander and the block of wood actually looked like a car.  Then came the fun part.  Pops was going to drill a hole in the bottom of the car and pour molten lead into it.  The plan was to then spackle over it and paint it so as not to give away the shenanigans.  In the process of drilling the hole, the neighbor moved the car. It spun away, and the drill missed and went right into Pops' hand!!! Blood went everywhere.  The neighbor actually complained that Pops got blood on the car.   Pops pointed out that it was going to be painted over.  In a final stroke of genius, Pops spackled too thick. The car placed d...

"Michelle Obama makes me rethink my stance on abortion." - Pops

Christmas is upon us. I am reminded of a story from my childhood. I was a boy of ten or twelve. At that time, Pops was really enamored with woodworking. He still is, but can only do so much these days. Anyways, we were out shopping one day, and we came across a set of tables like the one pictured. The set of four plus the stand was priced around $50. Quite a tab for the mid-1980's. Pops looked at the display tables. He picked them up, opened them, looked at them from every angle, and also looked at the carrier. To say he looked at them is a disservice. Pops analyzed these tables from every angle. He was studying them the way a gemstone expert might evaluate a rare and priceless diamond. Later that day, we went to the Home Depot, and Pops purchased several batches of wood and other supplies. Over the next few weeks, he busied himself in his workshop, building away. The saws buzzed, the drill whirled, and the hammer banged. The weekend before Christmas, my family hosted a party....

I have documented before   Pops' altercations with fat ladies  and their obsession with those motorized carts. Well, I saw that photo above, and was reminded of this recent interaction Pops had: Pops was shopping. He was in a motorized cart. He had been shopping in this particular store for about 10 minutes, and had several items in the basket. Also in the basket was Pops' walking cane. Reminder: Pops has no right foot (amputation mid-shin) and only half of his left foot (another amputation). Pops was standing to reach an item placed up high, when suddenly - out of nowhere - a fat lady sneaks up and gets in his cart and drives off. She even takes his shopping items with her! Pops chases her down. She begins all the excuses we have heard before... "oh, it's just so hard for me to walk," etc. Pops had not asked for an excuse, but the guilty often try to preemptively excuse their actions. But Pops wasn't chasing her down to get the cart back, or anything ...

This event has brought much laughter to my family for years. Setting: My mother's car was damaged and needed repairs. I was to drive it to the body shop. Pops was in a separate car, as I would need a ride home. Pops also knew how to get to the body shop, and I did not - therefore, I was following him. What Happened: Pops turned left to get on the interstate. However, the light turned red, and I was unable to follow. Pops pulled over at the base of entrance ramp to wait for me. However... There was a hitch hiker at the start of the entrance ramp. He thought Pops had stopped to pick him up! The hitch hiker started jogging toward Pops' car! Pops wasn't about to pick up the hitch hiker... but he had to wait for me to get through the intersection... The hitch hiker drew near to Pops' car... My light turned green. I got on the entrance ramp... The hitch hiker got within arm's reach of Pops' car... and Pops took off! Full speed ahead!!! At this point, I c...

Sometimes, people write bad checks. Sometimes it is purposeful, and other times it is accidental. Once, when I was a young boy, my father owned a camper. After some time, he decided to sell it. The purchaser paid with a check. And, well, the check was returned. My dad went to the issuing bank to learn about the account. He discovered the account was only $5.00 shy of being adequately funded to cover the check. My dad fronted the $5.00 and deposited it and the bank honored the check on the spot. In the process, Pops learned a big lesson. He made sure to teach us about that lesson as well. .

Pops: "I don't like that underwear... it's like a cheap hotel." Me: "???" Pops: "No ballroom." .

The following conversation took place recently. Pops was at a retail establishment and was using the motorized chair as transportation. (It is my opinion that if anybody "deserves" to use one of these, it is Pops - no right leg below the shin, and only half of a foot on the left) An overweight lady ("OL") walked in, and saw him sitting on the chair. Pops was examining some merchandise and happened to be close to the entryway. OL: "Are you using that motorized chair?" Pops: "I am." OL: "I would sure like to use it when you get finished. It's just so hard for me to walk." Pops: "It's probably good for you to walk..." OL: "Well why do you need that chair anyways?" (note: Pops is just shy of 200 pounds. He doesn't carry much extra weight at all. Not bad for 71 years young, anyways) Pops: < takes off his artificial leg and holds it up as if to say "this is why" > OL: < walk...

Do your kids ever claim there's nothing to eat in the kitchen... yet you know you went to the store just yesterday? Did you ever do the same? Pops had a unique method for handling this situation. He would say (while counting out on his fingers, point by point): "There's soup ... ... ... cereal ... ... ... sandwiches ..." He would say that every time we complained there was "nothing" to eat.  Do your parents ever say something so frequently that you get sick of hearing it? This phrase was just that way for my siblings and I. Later, my brother, sister, and I christened these three food items as "The Three S's." Yes... we knew that "cereal" starts with a "c" - but it is a soft "c" sound, so it sounded close enough. .

When I was 17, a cousin who lived a few hours away lost his job. My dad was kind enough to offer him to stay at our place along with his two little kids while he got back on his feet. It was just a couple of weeks before my cousin found more work. At the end of his first week on the new job, he came to my dad to make a request: "Pops, just finished my first week. I don't get paid until next week. I was wondering if I could borrow $10 to buy the kids some food until then? I just don't have a single dollar left." My dad gladly obliged. Later that evening, I was in the car with my dad when we drove by a Little Ceasar's Pizza... and I saw my cousin in there with his kids. On the door was a banner, advertising a $10 pizza special. I pointed these things out to Pops, as well as the fact that this restaurant was between my cousin's new job and our house. My cousin had seen the pizza special on his way home, and conned my dad out of $10 to take his kids ther...

When I was an early teen, there was an argument at my house about duties. My mom wanted all three of us children to perform more of the housework. At the time, my brother and I performed most of the housework, and she made the very fair request that my sister become more involved. However, my mom was rarely at home to monitor whether the duties would be performed. Also and however, I performed 3/4 of the work already, and yet she was asking for more from me. I asked her how she planned to monitor when she was never home. Literally - she would be gone for weeks at a time. My mom became very defensive at this, as one could imagine. After the argument was over, my dad and I were sitting in the room, and he said something to me that I remember to this day: "you are being awfully hard on your mother." That rang true... but there was something else: I wasn't being any harder on her than she had been on me. --------------------------------------------------------------...

Conversation via text between Pops and myself recently: Me: "What are you up to?" Pops: "Laxing." Me: "Relaxing, huh?" Pops: "Nope. Laxing. You have to Lax before you can Re-lax." Me: "Basic English, I get it." .

This "Pops-ism" was not said by Pops, but by my sister instead. EVERYONE who heard it said it sounded just like something Pops would say... including Pops himself. Back story, so you can understand this one: Pops had his right foot amputated in 2009 (complications from diabetes). Pops had all toes on his left foot amputated in 2012 (again, diabetic complications). My sister is speaking with a friend: Friend: How is your dad, Pops? Sister: Oh, you know. He has a foot and a half in the grave. .

I walk into Pops' living room. He is napping on his recliner. I accidentally wake him. Pops: "I wasn't asleep... I was just checking my eyelids for holes." .

Pops-ism, even though the funny thing said didn't come from Pops - but from someone speaking to him. Pops has always been the type of guy people go to for answers: like the farmer on the Farm Bureau commercials . This was just one such time. A mother was talking with Pops when her kids came up. She addressed them: Female: "Kids, let's go. We need to get your jackets." Kids: "Why?" Female: "Because a cold wind is moving in from the North. Oooh - which way is North, Pops?" .

Me: "What time is it? Pops: "Right now." Said as a statement, not a question .