Thursday, November 30, 2017

Merry Christmas, ESPN!

In an expected move, ESPN lays off over 100 employees. Just goes to show what happens when you oppose the God-Emperor.

On a similar note - why is it that companies so frequently do layoffs during the Holidays? 


Wednesday, November 29, 2017

Making Corrections

Posted by a friend on Bookface:

If I am wrong and you are my brother or sister in Christ, please, by all means, correct me. If you do choose to correct me, please be sure to do so by showing me my error in the Scripture. In the event that you cannot produce the proper scripture, or your argument is, at best, shaky, I regret to inform you that you are not correcting me, but you are simply stating your opinion. If you attempt to "correct" me, not by stating solid Scripture but by twisting and deforming Scripture in an attempt to persuade me to accept your view, I regret to inform you that you are, in fact, a wolf, and a liar. If you wish to point your finger at me in judgement for refusing to accept your opinion as the Word of God itself, I regret to inform you that you are little more than a Pharisee. I'm more than open to discussing Scripture, and I'm open to looking at Scripture through another's perspective and hearing wise counsel, but if all you're offering is a shaky opinion and you choose to judge me for rejecting it, you're little more than a pretender and we no longer have anything to discuss. Under no circumstances should one play an apostle's part while holding within themselves a Pharisee's heart.


Tuesday, November 28, 2017

Verbal Ripostes and Resets

In combat and the martial arts, timing is very important. The great Miyamoto Musashi pointed out in The Book of Five Rings that, with regard to attacking, timing was second only to the skills of the combatants. Donald Trump mentions timing many times in The Art of the Deal. Suffice it to say that when it comes to interpersonal dynamics, timing is of immense importance.

In interpersonal dealings, and in combat, one needs to know what to do, and when. Since attack is necessary to overcome one's opponent, three major courses of action become necessary:
Attack - going on the offensive.
Riposte - a quick counterattack.
Reset - defending the opponent's attack, and moving back to an equal position.

There are many types of attacks. There are many types of ripostes. Resetting, however, is a simple, yet underutilized tactic. In fact, when someone is skilled at resetting, they are often perceived as a master tactician. The reset gives you:
- The opportunity to measure your opponent's strength.
- The opportunity to tire your opponent.
- Key information on how your opponent attacks and defends.
- Information on your opponent's timing.
- Information on your opponent's skill level.
- And much more!

This entry will be dedicated to the verbal reset.

Once, a person took issue with something written in this blog. They decided to confront the author in a church. It was clear that this person wanted confrontation... possibly even a physical confrontation! While the author had every confidence in emerging victorious in either a verbal or physical confrontation, this was also neither the time nor the place. Nothing would be lost with a reset. And so, a verbal reset was employed:  "OK."

On a different occasion, an acquaintance of the author gives another example. This acquaintance frequently spoke with the author about "we need to do this," or "we should put together that." But never were concrete plans discussed. One Friday, this person contacted the author with a request for concrete plans... in 36 hours. When it was pointed out that the author had already made plans during that time frame, the response was "we discussed this last week." In truth, this had been discussed the week prior, but with no concrete date and time... just "some day." And so, a verbal reset was employed: "OK."

The key to the verbal reset is acknowledgement.
Please note... acknowledgement is not agreement.

Acknowledge the other party's statement. Do not agree to it outright. Do not disagree with it outright.  Acknowledge it. "OK" works in most cases. "Acknowledged" can work. "Understood" can also work. "I hear you" can work. Be careful of "yes" answers. Similarly, be mindful of how you use "ok." If in doubt of whether to use "ok," then use "understood."

Do NOT add additional words. "I hear you" and "I hear what you're saying, but..." are two different phrases. The first is a reset, and the second is a riposte. Be careful with your words. Additional words can often come across as passive-aggressive or argumentative. Because they are.

The best part of using "OK" or "Acknowledged" is that the verbal bully will think he has gained your cooperation. If it becomes necessary to contradict him later, all avenues of approach are at your disposal. Of course he will cry "but you agreed with me!" And once you advise him that you simply acknowledged without agreement, he will be betrayed by his own lack of understanding of how things work. The "battle" will be on the field of your choosing instead of the field of his choosing.

Using "Acknowledged" in an email also works wonders in the exact same way.


Monday, November 27, 2017

Giving Thanks

This meme has been shared to this blog before. I've shared it on Bookface before. This meme attacks the symptom. However, I came across a tweet that gets to the root of the problem:

When you see how people behaved badly on #BlackFriday, understand this... these people are under mass psychosis as a result of mainstream media brainwashing that puts a value on material things above decency and a respect for self and others. #SmallBusinessSaturday
- @ThePatriot143
https://t.co/laek2I0Enl 


Friday, November 24, 2017

Emergency Medical Care

Bayou Renaissance Man has written an article about IFAKs.
Read it.
Read all of it.
Read all of the links.

In the article, Bayou Renaissance Man has asked his friend, Ambulance Driver to write an article  about same.
Read it.
Read all of it.
Read all of the links.

The group I train with lists the following contents for an IFAK:

1 Ifak pouch (marked)
1 Cat tourniquet
1 pressure bandages or equivalent
1 rolled / compressed  gause
1 roll medical tape
1 triangular bandage.
1 Nasal tube

Recommended minimum
1 Ifak pouch(marked)
2 cat tourniquets
1-2 Hemostatic  sponge 
3-4 pressure bandages or equivalent
2 rolled / compressed gause
2-3 triangular bandages
1 Nasal tube
1-2  chest seals
1 Emt shears

Location recommendations.
* Keep your tourniquet very accessible.  You may only have seconds to apply.
* Have your ifak where you can reach it on your gear (not in your pack)
* Remember you can always have other medical supplies in your  bag on another pouch.  Your ifak is NOT a general first aid kit. It should only be opened for gunshot or some other form of trauma.



And, just in case you are not convinced of the need for emergency medical training, do not take this blog's word for it. Take His Holiness' word for it:



Wednesday, November 22, 2017

Church and State

What it is, what it is not...

What it is:
"Separation of church and state" is paraphrased from Thomas Jefferson and used by others in expressing an understanding of the intent and function of the Establishment Clause and Free Exercise Clause of the First Amendment to the Constitution of the United States which reads: "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof..." 

What it is not:
The separation of church and state is not banning churches or other organizations from endorsing a political candidate. It is not forcing a post office to remove a Nativity scene.  It is not forbidding congress to open in prayer. 

And lastly it is not an excuse to chase religious people back inside the walls of their churches and remove their influence and their views from public life. 

If you don't think that last one is the goal of godless liberals, you haven't been paying attention.


Tuesday, November 21, 2017

The Ideal Minuteman Rifle

The Minuteman Rifle. This author gets many gun questions every day. The most common, by far, is what type of AR15 to get and what modifications.  This post shall serve as the definitive answer to that question. 


RIFLE
There are many good brands.  A good 16" gun with collapsing stock will make a good base model for you. Get mags, get ammo, get training.  The rifle should have backup "iron" sights. Your rifle needs a sling.


OPTIC
The perfect setup for the Homeland Defender is a variable power 1-4x or 1-6x or similar.  There are many good brands.  Do not pay less than  $200.

If you really want a red dot, that's perfectly fine.  Again, do not expect to pay less than $200.

If you want a fixed low power scope, that is also perfectly fine.  Again, do not expect to pay less than $200.

Your rifle needs backup "iron" sights. 


MODIFICATIONS
1. Free float rail.
2. Trigger upgrade.
These two are a must.  All others can wait.


Monday, November 20, 2017

Alabama Senate

Recently, Alabama Senate candidate Roy Moore was accused of sexual assault by several parties through an article in the Washinton Post. All of the charges are of alleged actions that would have taken place over 30 years ago. Democrats are calling for Moore's removal, and so are the Establishment Republicans.

#FakeNews polls have come out saying Moore now trails in Alabama to the Democrat opponent. Of course, these are the same polls that said Hillary had a 92% chance of winning. Trump won Alabama with over 60% of the vote, and this author predicts Moore will garner at least 55%, provided he doesn't quit the race, and provided he doesn't apologize.

This author does not believe any of the allegations. Having a successful career in a role that requires being able to distinguish immediately between honesty and fabrication, he saw several flaws in the allegations. And sure enough, one after another, the witnesses credibilities have been demonstrated to be highly suspect. What little "evidence" there was is now regarded as a fraud. The story is unraveling.

Some thoughts posted online -

A #cuckservative female "journalist" (really an associate professor of journalism):
The timing of the women's stories of sexual abuse by Roy Moore - brought to light because the women were sought out not bec they went to the media - has nothing to do with the validity of their stories. A pervert is a pervert no matter if it's five years ago or five weeks before an election.
And, if anyone cares about my journalistic opinion, the WaPo story on the accusations that began all this was well written, well sourced, and will hold up in court. Roy Moore can threaten to sue all he wants - let's see him do it.

Lefty, via Twitter:
If Roy Moore is forced out of his senate race, political power will forever shift from the voters to a small cadre of unscrupulous women willing to make false charges of sexual misconduct to scuttle whatever GOP candidates they don’t like.

 Don’t think for a second that your average liberal feels genuine outrage over sexual maltreatment of women. The left is made up of miscreants who embrace all manner of perversion, debauchery, and sexual deviancy. The only thing they find immoral is morality itself.

Dr. Carole Swain, PhD:
 I’m tired of hearing I believe the woman. Why? Women can be self-willed and calculating. Let’s look at some women in the Bible. Vashti earned her rightful place as the first feminist. She stood up for herself. No judgment here. I might have done the same. We have Delilah as the first manipulating deceiver and Potiphar’s wife as the first to send an innocence man to prison over a false rape allegation. I’m a skeptic. I think the child sex and attempted rape allegations against Judge Moore are lies. I don’t believe the “me at 14” campaign was spontaneous. Let’s not forget the media hysterical and hype around the Duke Lacrosse players and the UBA fraternity where fabricated stories almost destroyed lives. Remember Twana Brawley? The people who hate Roy Moore hate everything he represents. In an ends justify the means society, it is Moore’s conservative Christianity that’s on trial and the threat it poses to the liberal agenda of Democrats and establishment Republicans.


Friday, November 17, 2017

Divorce Spreads Like A Disease

Some time back, one of my wife's friends filed for divorce. As soon as this happened, I immediately instructed my wife to distance herself from that friend. Some of the details of the situation provide some good learning tools, so here they are.

First, good friend of mine implicated that this particular woman was filing for divorce, in part, due to abuse. Now, I love my friend dearly, but he is not well versed in social interaction, intuitiveness, and reading between lines. He tends to take people at face value - which can be a good or bad thing, depending on the face. Anyone with a basic knowledge of This Woman's situation knew that it would be impossible for her husband to have been abusive. I said as much. My friend and I agreed to disagree. However, it came out later that the abuse charge was totally false.

Second, you will notice that I instructed my wife to stay away from this woman. I did not ask my wife to stay away from her. I did not suggest that my wife stay away from her. I did not hint that my wife might want to stay away from her. I instructed my wife to stay away. Being the Biblically ordained head of the household means understanding when to lay down the law, and when to yield - otherwise known as knowing which hill to die on.

Third, this woman who was getting a divorce slightly shifted her Social Circles. Interestingly enough, but not at all unexpected, her two closest friends are now in the process of filing for divorce. Each of these three women has at least three children. Most of these children had social issues prior to the divorce - we can only imagine how this is going to turn out.

Fourth, all of these husbands had a dominant wage position in the household. Whether these women know it or not, they are signing up for a life of poverty. There are many statistics out there that indicate this.

There are many more things to learn from this situation, but these stuck out to me the most.


Thursday, November 16, 2017

Divorce Porn Defined

One of the most destructive influences on modern society is divorce. The combination of no-fault divorce, antiquated alimony and child support laws, and over-reaching family courts has turned divorce into a multibillion-dollar industry. This industry destroys everything in its path, and only benefits divorce attorneys and judges.

Depending on your source, anywhere between 65% and 94% of all US marriages will ultimately  end in divorce. Also, depending on your sources, women initiate between 70% and 90% of all divorces. According to the statistics at the link above, and most other online sources, women fare very poorly in a divorce from a financial standpoint. This despite the fact that women are often awarded half or more of the man's income and assets.

So why do women initiate divorce? Although many women claim abuse, the actual figures are that less than 10% of divorces end because of abuse wherein the man was convicted of an assault related crime. Although many women claim cheating, again less than 10% of divorces and because the man was unfaithful. Depending on your sources, these two categories rarely combine to be much more than 12% to 15%. Although there are many good indicators of a woman who is more likely to divorce, an up-and-coming factor is divorce porn.

Divorce porn - the pedestalizing of divorce.

Divorce porn is the modern pushing of acceptance of divorce as not only normal and healthy, but desirable in many cases. Divorce porn directly sells women on the idea of "upgrading" their husbands. It is a term which refers to how our society glorifies divorce.

Women, who tend to hen peck happy peers, often encourage one another to get divorced in an attempt to ruin the other woman's happiness. Social media has provided so many more platforms for this to happen. So what happens as one woman expresses her negative emotions about a single action by her husband, and the female peers pounce. They throw the man under the bus (as if Society doesn't do that enough, already). And the process repeats. Eventually, after so much negative interaction about the man, it begins to look good to divorce him.

And in this way, and other similar ways, this cancer spreads from Woman to Woman. Just as many men may view regular pornography as a means to get a fix, these women get a fix from throwing their husband under the bus. If something is repeated often enough, one tends to believe it - regardless of the veracity. Soon, divorce seems a better option, then living with a man perceived to be evil.


Wednesday, November 15, 2017

Agreed Advice

In advance of the predictable backlash, please see this statement first:

Marriage as defined by the US Legal System does not at all resemble marriage as discussed in the Bible.

The two are separate entities entirely. One bears no semblance of the other.  It is unfortunate they share the same name.  For this article, the term "marriage" shall refer to the definition used by the legal system, unless otherwise noted.

There is  no reason for men in the US to marry.
What exactly does marriage offer men today? “Men know there’s a good chance they’ll lose their friends, their respect, their space, their sex life, their money and — if it all goes wrong — their family,” says Helen Smith, Ph.D., author of "Men on Strike." “They don’t want to enter into a legal contract with someone who could effectively take half their savings, pension and property when the honeymoon period is over.Men aren’t wimping out by staying unmarried or being commitment phobes. They’re being smart.”

But, if a man does decide to marry, he needs to set forth some  minimum requirements for the potential spouse. 
1. She must be between 18-25 years old.
2. She must have less than three prior sexual partners, though I prefer a virgin.
3. Her physical attractiveness should hover around the 7 range.
4. Her skin tone should be within two shades of myself.
5. She must be feminine.
6. She must want to be a traditional stay-at-home mother.
7. She must believe in a god.

This funny clip goes into more of the age detail.
Specifically, if a man does marry, the wife should be half his age, plus seven. If we superimpose the ages of 18-25 into that equation, then the man should be between 22 and 36. Since a man really ought never marry before age 30, we should adjust this just a bit:
Men who wish to marry ought to be aged 30-45.
The woman he wishes to marry should be 18-25.

Also, I would add that her God needs to match his. 


Tuesday, November 14, 2017

Was It Worth It?

On Sunday, my son attended a year end party for his football team.  There was pizza, bowling, awards, and such.  It was a fun time. 

The facility where the party was held had televisions playing all over.  Many of the sets were tuned to NFL football games.  Of note,  I saw one in particular - it was playing the Falcons vs. the Cowboys. The stadium was near vacant. 

I made it a point to look at the seats. So many were empty. I'd estimate that 3/4 Of the seats or more were vacant during game time. The sound being played in the background was as if it was a full stadium cheering raucously... it was laughable.

Twitter account, @emptyseatspics has many pictures of empty stadiums.  Of course, #FakeNews sources will say these pictures are taken at pregame or during halftime. That's simply not what I saw.  The Falcons stadium had fewer people in attendance than many local high school teams.

Was it worth it, NFL?


Thursday, November 9, 2017

So Much Fake News







They are trying so hard to get Trump.
Actual news is irrelevant to them.

#fakenews

Wednesday, November 8, 2017

The Trumpening

Today marks the first anniversary of the #Trumpening .

The stock market is growing at a record Pace. The economy is booming. Things are getting done. The swamp is being drained. Leftists are losing their minds (wait, did they ever have them?). And #FakeNews is more fake than ever.

In short, there is much to celebrate.

Remember 365 short days ago? The #FakeNews was telling us that there was a 92% chance that Hillary would win. Well, here are screenshots, time and date stamped, from your humble blogger's Bookface account, detailing the correct prediction.





Never question my sources. I am the source.

Actually, if you follow this blog, you already know my sources. And you know them to be very trustworthy. Way better than #FakeNews .


Monday, November 6, 2017

Shopping Rage

From Twitter:

Do you ever get Road Rage walking behind people at the grocery store?🤔
- @Conservative_VW

All. The. Time.
- @LeftyRightViews

I don't know anyone who hasn't.  As a Sigma, it's not rage, it's more of a "Road Annoyance." So, some time back, I analyzed some observed behaviors, and actions to counter them. The three greatest annoyances observed were:

1. Pulling out into an aisle without looking.

2. Going super slow right in the middle of the pathway.

3. Generally being right in the way. 

Of course, there are plenty of fat ladies in motorized chairs, but Pops has the in on that market. 

Today's post shall detail my actions against what I perceive is the most annoying trait - pulling out into aisles without looking.  Usually it's women barging through.  Men tend to look first. 

For clarity, there are main aisles and side aisles. Common courtesy dictates that if you plan to leave one aisle for another, one ought look first to make sure the coast is clear. Many people fail to do this. 

Some time back, I took measure of the possible solutions, and decided on one.  I shall continue to walk straight - not stopping for these rude women who barge out. If their shopping cart hits me, then so be it.  If it is a solid hit, I possess the reaction time to actually jump in the floor - much like taking a "bump" in wrestling.

So far, I've been hit 18 times. These all occurred within 5 shopping visits - yes, if I got hit once, I was likely to get hit again! Most within Wal Mart locations throughout the state.  I've hit the deck three times. 

Each time I hit the deck, I got an " I'm so sorry, I didn't see you there!" response.

My reply has been the same: "it does help if you actually look first before barging through!"

Of the times I did not go crashing to the floor, my response was either "Pardon you!" Or "watch it!" About the same number of mortified looks as dirty looks, regardless of my reply. 

One individual did tray to make it seem like my fault.  A quick "Hey, you hit me with your cart! Now, we can go see the manager right now and get the video so I can sue you," put that FBAP back on track with some semblance of sanity. 

All in all, it's quite humorous. I never get much more than a bruise, if that.  And the looks are gold. If anybody would like to tag along, you're welcome to be my guest.  I'd suggest you stand 15 feet back and film it. 


Friday, November 3, 2017

Recon Chest Rig

A question from a reader - Is the Condor Recon Chest Rig a good choice for a loadout?

The Condor Recon Chest Rig has 6 built in M4 mag pouches, 4 pistol mag pouches, and two utility pouches.  The M4 mag pouches are topped with bungee cords. The pistol pouches and utility pouches are topped with a velcro strap down. 

There are several rows of molle on both sides of the mag pouches.  Good for an IFAK, radio pouch, more mag pouches, utility pouches, or whatever you will need. 

The rig comes in several colors and patterns. The straps can be replaced by a hydration pack. An optional bib can be attached to the front for more molle space, as well. 

Overall, it's a good choice for someone who wishes to have an effective, yet inexpensive chest rig.   This author has personal experience with it.

Disclaimer - neither this blog, nor it's authors, have received any compensation from Condor or any known dealer.


Thursday, November 2, 2017

Focus In Martial Arts

Recently, The Jiu-Jitsu Times online publication had an article entitled "Are People Getting Their Black Belts Too Early?" The article detailed one BJJ black belt's opinion that the rise in popularity of MMA has led to many people getting their BJJ black belt too early.

Our comment of the week comes from the Facebook comment to the article:
Why would you think so? There are no global criterias for any belts - so when an instructor promotes, it's just the right time. Not all black belts are equal, but they are black belts for a reason - and it's not our job to eveluate them. It's their instructors job.

While I cannot speak for BJJ, as I have never received any rank in BJJ, this statement is still true of most martial arts. And this comment also rang true:
People are more worried about belts than they are about putting in time at the gym.


Wednesday, November 1, 2017

Chili Judge

I had seen several iterations of this joke in internet past, but the last time was prior to this blog. A friend shared via Bookface, so here it is:


I know this post is very long, but the joke is hilarious, and I thought it might lighten the dire mood most of us are experiencing. 

New Mexico Chili Cook-off

If you can read this whole story without laughing, then there's no hope for you. I was crying by the end. This is an actual account as relayed to paramedics at a chili cook-off in New Mexico.

For those of you who have lived in New Mexico, you know how true this is. They actually have a Chili Cook-off about the time Halloween comes around. It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the Santa Fe Plaza. Judge #3 was an inexperienced Chili taster named Frank, who was visiting from Gering, Nebraska.

Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off.  The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table, asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native New Mexicans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy; and besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted and became Judge #3."


Here are the scorecard notes from the event:

CHILI # 1 - MIKE'S MANIAC MONSTER CHILI

Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick. 
Judge # 2 -- Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild. 
Judge # 3 (Frank) -- Holy crap, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out.  I hope that's the worst one. These New Mexicans are crazy.

CHILI # 2 - EL RANCHO'S AFTERBURNER CHILI

Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang. 
Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.

CHILI # 3 - ALFREDO'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI

Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick. 
Judge # 2 -- A bit salty, good use of peppers. 
Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting sh*t-faced from all of the beer.

CHILI # 4 - BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC

Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing. 
Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.
Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the beer maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. This 300 lb. woman is starting to look HOT ...  just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac?

CHILI # 5 - LISA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER

Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Jalapeno peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive. 
Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the jalapeno peppers make a strong statement. 
Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted, and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really ticks me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming.  Screw them.

CHILI # 6 - VARGA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY

Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers. 
Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, garlic.  Superb. 
Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I crapped on myself when I farted, and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Sally. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my butt with a snow cone.

CHILI # 7 - SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI

Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers. 
Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. **I should take note that I am worried about Judge #3.  He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.
Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt.  At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing. It's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.

CHILI # 8 - BIG TOM'S TOENAIL CURLING CHILI

Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence. 
Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild nor hot.  Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor fella, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot chili?
Judge # 3 -- No report