Employee huh-huh?

My readers have been very nice to me lately, sending all sorts of hilarious material. Of course, if there were not so many stupid people in the world, then the material would not exist. This was submitted to me recently for publication, and has been only slightly edited:

Employee appreciation week is a total joke Remember the keyword WEEK What do they appreciate? Brown nosing? Day one: enjoy free goodies distributed by your supervisor Goodies included are a small tote bag, a single pack of trail mix, a casual day sticker which no one ever uses, and a token to get into the casino the next day. Day two: enjoy one full hour at the casino Except the 10 minutes it takes to walk down there in the 10 minutes to walk back. Then you walk into the casino and see that they scheduled too many people to go in there at one time. Therefore, you just wasted 20 minutes of your life walking down there only to see all of the game tables are overcrowded & there is not enough time to wait in line for the next person to leave. Day three: you get to play bingo with your department Except bingo is played in an IM conversation, and you get to play in between phone calls. Therefore you have an IM window constantly flashing while you were working on a phone call distracting you. Day four: goody day You get to enjoy lunch purchased by..... Wait for it… YOU It's not like you could do this any other of the 250 days you work there this year or anything. Day five: free giveaways The tokens that you earn from the casino, that you did not get to play in, you can put your name on the tickets and put in boxes for prizes that you might be able when except that there's 500 other people that put their names in each box. so the odds of winning a very low. If you do win, you get to pay 25% luxury tax.

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