Martial Arts May Not Be For You

This is a satirical piece, based on things I've seen throughout the years while teaching martial arts. These are situations when the martial arts may not be for you:

If you complain about the room temperature
Martial arts may not be for you...
Specifically, if you are the only one complaining. If the room temperature is appreciably above freezing, and below 100 degrees Fahrenheit, it is probably OK for the vast majority of people who want to train martial arts. Frequently, martial arts are trained outdoors.

If you really need babysitting services
Martial arts may not be for you...
Specifically, if you are looking for a place for your kids to stay for a couple of hours, even though you know class is only an hour long. 

If you are more concerned with whether your belt will transfer
Martial arts may not be for you...
Instead, go to an online retailer and purchase the color belt you really want. Each school has its own belt progression. Depending on the art, the belt colors and progression may be very structured and similar, or not. It really doesn't matter. At the end, each belt progression states that this instructor and/or organization feels you have done what it takes to reach xxx belt. Isn't that the point???

If you don't want to commit to class
Martial arts may not be for you... 
Be it via a financial commitment, or simply taking the time so show up.  Either situation requires discipline - one of the core things taught in the vast majority of martial arts. Showing up is 80% of the struggle.

If you insist that the instructor to know how you do it (or how your old school did it)
Martial arts may not be for you...
Or, you may prefer going back to your old studio. In either event, why would you pay someone money to show you something, then insist on showing your variation? If you really knew your stuff, the black belt would be around your waist, and you would be teaching it. Until then, take a lesson in humility and learn a bit.

If every time you hear a price, your instinct is to negotiate
Martial arts may not be for you... 
Perhaps a career in auto or real estate sales is more of what you seek. Maybe you have a brilliant career waiting for you as a divorce mediator. In either event, most martial arts schools barely eke out a living (or a small amount of money on the side for an instructor who holds a regular job). There are a handful of millionaires from the martial arts (most of them via famed garnered in UFC fighting or training), and perhaps a few dozen instructors nationwide who make well into the six-figure range... and those guys aren't negotiating.

If you are price shopping
Martial arts may not be for you...
First, get to the point where you have a few hundred dollars a month freed up in disposable income, then think about martial arts training. 

If you go to one school because it is $30 per month cheaper than another
Martial arts may not be for you...
See above. 


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