Funny MA Stories, Part 3

This story takes place when I was still learning karate – age 11 or so. A friend of my mom was having dinner with us. Her son (who appeared to never have missed a dinner) was talking to me. Eventually my mom (much to my chagrin - but hey, I was 11 at the time) told her friend's son, John (named changed to protect the "innocent") that I did karate.

Immediately he asked what belt I was - and it just so happened to be Purple belt at the time. At this point, he began eating my dinner - but it was a buffet, so I figured I could go get more... but I digress. I asked if he had ever done MA.

"Red belt ninja" he exclaimed through a mouthful of what had been my macaroni & cheese.

"Oh, ninjitsu..." I began - but was rudely cut off by this lad who now was chewing a mouthful of what had been my roast beef.

"NO! Ninja. I don't know what that other word is." He stated before going after my green beans. Hey, at least he did not discriminate!

"Ninjitsu is what ninjas study." I pointed out, wishing I had some of the macaroni he had just downed.

"Oh... yeah, then that's what I study!" He said as he grabbed my younger brother's plate of food.

"So what Kyu is red belt?" I made the mistake of asking. “Kyu” is the Japanese designation for rank under black belt.

"What's that?" He said. Then he proceeded after my sister's plate. She was quick (you have to be with two older brothers) to get up an act like she was going back to the buffet.

"What level is Red belt?" I knew where this was going - if I did not get eaten, first.

"It's the highest. You want to go get some more food?" He exclaimed.

"Sure, I'm still hungry. I really want some roast beef, green beans, and macaroni w/ cheese. So red belt is right before black belt?" I said.

"Nope. It is higher than black belt."

"John, you are 11 years old - how could you possibly have gotten past black belt?" I asked. Darn, the buffet had run out of macaroni & cheese!!!

"I just tested for it last week. I had to do a flip at the end to pass."

"John, you are the only kid I know in elementary school over 300 pounds. How did you do a flip? Did they offer you an entire cake?" I asked. Yes, I was getting annoyed at this point, because I figured he was 'full of it.'

"I used ninja magic. They teach it at black belt."

At this point, I turned the conversation to Nintendo. I was, at least, an expert in that at the time.