Friday, December 23, 2016

Rogue One Review (Spoilers)

Review of Star Wars: Rogue One

I saw this movie with my children at a 9:45 pm showing on opening night.

There may be spoilers below. If those sort of things upset you, then do not read further.

To start, the film was marred in controversy by its writers saying the Empire is White Supremacist. The obvious hit here is toward the Alt-Right. However, as card-carrying member of the Alt-Right, I know better. We aren't white supremacists. We are realists.  Point 7.

But, as George Lucas has always said, Star Wars is for kids. Mine are well trained to think. Had there been feminist propaganda strewn throughout, they'd have picked up on it. So, I took them.


I did, too.

No, it's not a space opera like the Timeline films. That's why it lacks an opening crawl. It's a spy film with a battle at the end. You knew this would be the case: it was billed as the story behind the capturing of the Death Star plans, setting up Episode IV, A New Hope.

From the opening crawl of ANH -
It is a period of civil war. Rebel spaceships, striking from a hidden base, have won their first victory against the evil Galactic Empire.
During the battle, Rebel spies managed to steal secret plans to the Empire's ultimate weapon, the DEATH STAR, an armored space station with enough power to destroy an entire planet.

That gives you the premise of this movie in its entirety.

I didn't see too much feminism in this movie. Yes, the central character is female. But she's no leader. In fact, she is following through much of the movie. The reluctant leader is a white male, "Cassian." Yes, I'm aware that he's a Spaniard... and I'm also aware that Spaniards are not Hispanics. There is a distinct racial difference.

The characters are hodgepodge. They fit for a band of spies. They all die in the end. Sneaking into the Empire's data center has consequences.

Originally, the Rebel Alliance had a Gold Wing, a Red Wing, and a Blue Wing. This movie explains why you don't see Blue Wing in ANH. The movie also explains why Red 5 is available for Luke. The movie also explains the vacancy that had to be made for Ackbar to be promoted to Admiral.

Cameos that we all liked:
Red Leader
Gold Leader
Governor Tarkin
Darth Vader
Bail Organa
Princess Leia
"I hold the death sentence on 12 systems"
R2D2 & C3PO

The battle scene at the end, "Rebel spaceships, striking from a hidden base, have won their first victory against the evil Galactic Empire," is the best battle montage of the entire Star Wars Universe to date. Maybe even of the entire genre.

Darth Vader's end cameo is absolutely bad ass. He plows through Rebel soldiers as easily as Anakin plowed through Separatist battle droids in the prequels.

From the looney toon files... a colleague from my college years posts this about his 8 year old son:
Today's Disappointment:  Star Wars Rouge One was too intense, too dark, and violent for my son that we left after the first 30 minutes.  What's sad is we saw Star Wars The Force Awakens last year and he loved it.  Rogue One does not feel like a Star Wars movie.  Sorry if this ruins it for anyone but as a dad you become sensitive to your child's needs.  It was too scary for him.
"Rouge One was a bad idea to make dad," [my son] said this afternoon.
Yes, this person is a Gamma. Yes, he is a #cuckservative . Yes, he is raising his 8 year old son to be a pussy.

My kids' reaction to the above:
"It's was a good movie. It wasn't too dark!"
- 9 year old daughter.

"It's what Star Wars is all about... WARS. Fighting, battles, all that cool stuff."
- 12 year old son.

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