Tuesday, July 19, 2016

Know Your Role

This article makes for an interesting read. If it were followed more closely, divorce rates would not hover near 50% in America. Not ironically, the women who make snide comments below the article also speak of being divorced.

1.) Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs.

2.) Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favorite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.

3.) Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you’ll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.

4.) Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

5.) Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper, etc. and then run a dust cloth over the tables.

6.) Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

7.) Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children’s hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair and, if necessary, change their clothes.

8.) Children are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.

9.) Be happy to see him. Free him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him. Listen to him.

10.) You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first — remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

11.) Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.

12.) Your goal: Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquility where you husband can renew himself in body and spirit.

13.) Don’t greet him with complaints and problems.

14.) Don’t complain if he’s late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.

15.) Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.

16.) Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.

17.) Don’t ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment of integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.

18.) A good wife always knows her place.

In summary, a woman who is a homemaker should take pride in her duties. It is assumed in the article that the woman was raising the children. It is also assumed that the man is out earning a living for the family. Maybe if things were like this, he US divorce rate would drop back to the 20% range.

Another nugget of truth is that if the home is made a peaceful place, there will be peace. Not arguing and fighting. A woman who accepts her feminine role of "allowing" the man  to speak first will often have her concerns put at ease. Much nicer and more congenial than fighting with him the moment he gets home about some insignificant irrelevancy.

The word "partnership" - so abused these days when speaking in terms of marriage - does not appear in this article. It is assumed, though. The man does the masculine jobs and the woman does the feminine ones.

This, and other self help articles from the 1950's, coach women on ... wait for it... being feminine. Women have a certain natural leaning towards being feminine, but it must also be coached. Just like men have a natural leaning toward being masculine, but that must also be coached.

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