Monday, March 21, 2016

Red Pill Origins II

A big hurdle for most men to take the red pill is to see women for what they are. Often, this can be the single largest hurdle, depending on the man, of course. Pop culture and media indoctrination holds that women are not only the fairer sex, but that they are not capable of being wrong, sinful, mean, violent, etc. When a man realizes that a woman being an imperfect person is not only possible, but just as likely as a man being imperfect, then the first step of red pill conversion has taken place. Eventually, this leads to a man realizing these things about  his own mother. 

This happened to yours, truly, as well. My mother was not perfect, and my teenage years helped me realize it. My early college years solidified it, and my early career years reinforced it. My mother was bitten by the bug... the  divorce porn  bug. "Divorce porn" is a term which refers to how our society glorifies divorce.

My mother's marriage to my father was her second. She was in her late twenties when they were married. In all my life, she only referenced her previous husband a handful of times... usually with the insertion of the phrase "he was gay" thrown in for good measure. I know nothing of the man, save that his given name was Gary. I don't know his last name. Why they divorced, I can only speculate. But I bet it had to do with the fact that she was crazy.

First Indicator
The first major oddity happened when I was 12. My mother got very interested in politics when I was 10 or so. By the time I was 12, she would leave the house every morning to go "politicking." I was left to care for my younger brother and sister and make sure all three of us completed our home-school assignments. Frequently, when my father would come home from his job at about 5:30 or 6, he would ask where my mother was. I rarely knew.

4 out of 5 weekdays, she would be gone all day, and into the evening. When confronted with this information, she would deny that, and say she was almost never gone that much. Also of note, my mother ran for public office during this time. She did not win election, but placed middle of the pack in a field of 9 candidates. It was during this time that she started accusing my father of cheating on her... without proof, of course.

She renovated our living room to a makeshift bedroom and set it up as her bedroom. We used a side door downstairs 99% of the time, so it didn't hurt anything logistically.  But it was further indicator that she was falling prey to the divorce porn.

My current red pill inclined, 40-year-old mind would say she was likely cheating on my father during much of this time. 

Second Indicator
By the time I was 14, my mom opened "her own business." She had a typing and resume service. Many evenings, she would spend the night at her office. That all changed when I turned 15. My father and I said I should go to a regular high school. I would be entering 10th grade. I was enrolled in a local high school, and my mother had to take me to school every day. Of course, soon she found arrangements to carpool with a nearby family so she would only have to take me every other week.

During this time, my brother and sister were being required to do less and less in their "home-schooling." I turned 16 just prior to my junior year, and with the earning of my driver's license, I would drive myself to school every day. Not just because I wanted to, but also because I had to.

It was at this time that my mother moved out of our house completely. She had been spending days at a time at my dad's farm house on the opposite side of the state. The days turned to weeks and the weeks turned to months. To be fair, she did fix the place up a bit.

Eventually, my brother and sister fell way behind in their home schooling and the decision was made to have them join me at school. My senior year, they rode with me to and from school every day. My brother was a Freshman and my sister was in 7th grade. It was much harder on them than it was on me.

Third Indicator
The way things were my junior and senior years was pretty much how things stayed through college. My mother would come back to Chattanooga for a few days or a week at a time every 90 days or so. This was the case from 1991 through 1999. In late 1999, she filed for divorce from my dad. My brother and sister were heartbroken. I couldn't understand why - they had been separated for a decade.

My father, in a stroke of genius, retained an attorney. Not just any attorney, but one who had been at odds with my mother back in her political days. My mother and this attorney had often found themselves on opposite ends of conflicts, and had launched verbal attacks at one another frequently. This attorney was a nasty bitch. And she hated my mom. She damn near worked for free.

Of course, my mom was going after the house, the savings, and asking for alimony and child support: even though we were ages 19, 21, and 24... and even though we had lived with my dad the entire time. The final hearing was set for early 2000. I was asked to come and testify as to what I knew. I told my dad's attorney the honest truth, and that's why they wanted me to testify.

My mom didn't want to negotiate terns, or arbitrate... she wanted it all.

Fourth Indicator
On the day of my parents' divorce, I was in the courtroom. When my mother saw me there, she immediately whispered to her attorney, and they left the room and went to the arbitration room down the hall. Soon, they sent word for my father and his attorney. To the arbitration room they went. I stayed behind.

After watching several fascinating cases, my parents' case was called. I stood and informed the judge that they were in the other room, negotiating. The judge asked me to notify the bailiff when they returned, and their case would slide into the next spot.

Shortly thereafter, they returned. I dutifully notified the bailiff. Their case was called almost immediately. My father's attorney notified the judge that they had reached terms. They would define 1993 as the year my mother vacated the marriage, and my father would give her half of the value of their house as of 1993, and half of the value of his retirement savings as of 1993. The judge verified with my mom and her attorney if they had so agreed, and they indicated that they did agree.

My father wrote the check on the spot. It was worth less than fraction of what his house was worth at that moment. Much less the value of the farm house and his retirement account.

Fifth Indicator
After the divorce, my mother withdrew from us kids even more. But, when she wanted to see us, she would "have a heart attack." She "had 47 heart attacks," by the last count. She would check into the hospitals, short of breath, and be released within a matter of hours. There were a few other, similar shenanigans, too. All cries for attention from a woman who had pushed her family away for years.

My mother moved into a small cabin shortly after the divorce. A few years later, she bought another house not far from there. Later, she purchased the house she would eventually die in. Neither was worth much. She owned two houses at her death - one was foreclosed upon. All the while she "dated" a couple of men. By that time, she wanted little to do with me.

We would occasionally see her when she wanted to see her grandchildren. But, as they grew out of infant hood and into their toddler years, she would start pushing them away, too. My son was old enough to realize this prior to her death.

All the while, she rationalized ("hamster wheel") that everyone was out to get her.

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