Five Lies

Submitted by my brother, single guy.

Five Lies told in the dating world:

1. I'm not here for a hook up.
Yeah, that's why you posted this on Tinder - a known hookup site!

2. I am a self-sufficient woman.
Yeah, thanks to hundreds of dollars in alimony, more by way of child support. And let's not forget that if your roommate leaves tomorrow with her $400 a month toward the rent, you'll be bankrupt in no time!

3. Body type: "average" or "curvy"
Let's just have a site where you have to step on a scale and the weight determines the body type automatically. If it's wrong 25% of the time, then that means we will have 70% more honesty.

4. I'm not here to date, just to find friends.
Then why on God's green earth are you on a dating site???

5. Don't just think we will talk and I'll just give you my number.
Oh, is it pay for play? Well here's a clue - there are websites dedicated to that. And plus, if I type in "average" for body type there, I'll actually get to see a girl who is not fat!