Then there are the jerks that try to establish a second ongoing class at the exact same time as the main class.
A few weeks ago, just such a thing happened. I was teaching in Rocklege, FL on my vacation, as I often do. One student, who had managed to remain a white belt in BJJ for four years, provided just such a situation, and it led to hilarious results.
Just so you know, this individual had been "leading" a groundwork class at the dojo. However, his ego had prevailed and he had injured a couple of students. These students never returned. Hence, he was asked to leave the dojo.
On Tuesday night, while I was teaching at the request of the head instructor, he kept going off topic.
He ignored, or soon forgot, my urgings to "stay with the drill," or "let's work on this one for now."
Nevertheless, we made it through class.
On Thursday, he actually got worse:
- While "helping" me demonstrate the movements, he was providing match level intensity resistance to my moves and not providing the indicators I was calling for (this was soon remedied with a surprise intense arm lock from Guard).
- After the arm lock incident, he no longer wished to help me demo, saying "no thanks" when I asked if he would help me demonstrate something. LMAO
- When I would demo something, with his buddy, the joker-in-question would immediately go off into "showing" another student "some moves" (half of which were incorrectly performed) very loudly while I worked with some younger students.
- He told the guy he was "working with" that the guy would "never be able to apply a triangle choke" because "his legs were too short." I had that student properly applying triangles within 5 minutes after warning him not to listen to the joker-in-question.
- He said out loud to the class: "I was about to snooze when you said we would be working on basic guard control again."
His basics were so horrible, he couldn't keep me from getting his back in fifteen seconds.
After that, I decided maybe a quick lesson in basics was in order. I decided I'd take his back the next time and use a short choke variation of hadaka jime. For those who do not know, the short choke is a more painful pressure on the front of the throat as opposed to less uncomfortable arterial constriction from the sides of the neck.
Second roll: less than a minute, and he tapped to a short choke.
Third roll: less than a minute, and he tapped to a short choke.
He declined a fourth roll.
It has been suggested I rename this variation the "STFU choke" after this demo. I might just do that.