Types of Calvinists

In my travels and discussions, I've come across Calvinists of all sorts of backgrounds. Now mind you, Calvinists are a distinct minority in Christian circles - I would estimate far less than 5% of Christians are Calvinist. But I've noticed a few types that repeat themselves, and since I like to categorize things, here goes:

Presbyterian
Most of these folks are good people. Most of them are Christian. Most grew up in the Presbyterian Church and have ventured to few other places of worship. Presbyterian Calvinists (PCs) generally are not into research, hence the reason they continue to believe in Calvinism. PCs almost never have a very inquisitive nature when it comes to the Bible, or their beliefs. Often, they might not even know all five points of Calvinism ("TULIP").

Hyper Calvinist
Hyper Calvinists are usually Presbyterian, and rarely Baptist. They consider themselves the purest form of Calvinist, as they disagree with the Five Points the least, and as they embrace the logical end results of the acceptance of TULIP: for example - not evangelizing as God has already pre-ordained the elect who will be saved. Hyper Calvinists will actively berate Hyper Calvinists of the opposing denomination as being somewhat less Calvinist.

All of the other types of Calvinists will generally be associated with the Baptist denomination.
 
New Theologian
These are people - usually (but not always) they are fairly new Christians - who want to know why they believe what they believe. They fall quickly in love with the phrase "Sovereign God" and begin to accept the lies told by Calvinists about what that means and what it does not mean. When they like a few of the lead-in propaganda, they decide to go full tilt, and wind up accepting doctrinal lies no matter how ridiculous they get!

An NT Calvinist will enter into debates freely - at first to help themselves learn their own doctrine, then later to prove the perceived errors in the ways of others. Early on, they will back down when proven wrong. Later, they will call in for help. Much later, they will debate until proven wrong, then truncate the session, claiming the other party does not want civilized discourse.

Faux - Intellectual
This person is one who has usually graduated from the ranks of the "New Theologians," but they differ from the Evangelistic Calvinist, the Stealth Calvinist, and the Comfortable Calvinist in some key areas. The FI Calvinist is one who actively seeks debate. At first, their stated goals may be simply to show you how you are wrong in your opinions of Calvinism. But, in the end, they are trying to convert you to Calvinism, or otherwise bully you into not speaking against the falsehoods of their doctrine.

The FI Calvinist may actually have an above-average IQ. Not usually, though. Usually, they are a person who thinks a bit more highly of themselves than they ought. It is a combination of this personality trait and the fact that scripture is something that is largely unprovable one way or another, which combines to form the FI Calvinist.

Evangelistic Calvinist
This person is half salesman and half FI Calvinist. They know the broad definitions of Calvinism, and how to direct any doctrine into sounding like it is close to Calvinistic doctrine. They are trying to persuade you that you really are Calvinist - or almost - and you just don't know it yet. 

The EC and the FI Calvinists will relentlessly twist words so that you would feel guilty about debating them.
The EC and FI Calvinists will try to debate Greek when you point out their twisting of English words.
The EC and FI Calvinists will actively try to dodge normal English usage, instead relying on unusual words of possible multiple meanings.

The EC does not wish to go to Presbyterian
The EC rarely wishes to actually evangelize to the unsaved. Few Calvinists actually ever do.

Stealth Calvinist
A few people - a very few people - will be "talented" Evangelistic Calvinists and Faux-Intellectual Calvinists. These people often turn to a life of Stealth Calvinism. In fact, it is impossible to become a SC unless one has become a decently skilled EC and FI Calvinist - they are prerequisites.

Stealth Calvinists actively seek out non-Calvinist congregations (99%+ Baptist) and attempt via stealth to infiltrate, and coerce others into Calvinism. They will resort to bully tactics if needed. They want to transform a normal Christian denomination into one that is now Calvinist. A key indicator of this person is someone who "has been looking for a church home, but just hasn't found one."

Stealth Calvinists are among the most insidious of people. They are not to be trusted, and their intents should be constantly called into question. Their true aim will result in only the division of the church they have targeted. They might use this approach so as to better their own position in life - with perceived "power" after the restructuring of what had been a perfectly good church.

Stealth Calvinists are the reason there is a sub-denomination called Free Will Baptist Church.

Comfortable Calvinist
This category exists with two major subdivisions:
A) Those who embrace the concept of predestination to some extent, with variance in terminology. These folks do not care if others are Calvinist or "Arminian." They have their belief, and that is good enough for them. They are either uncomfortable about discussing Calvinism, period; or, are comfortable offering both viewpoints, and letting the other person decide what they believe.
B) Those who occasionally embrace the concept of predestination as plausible. They might actually alternate between the concept of free will and predestination. They might also have worked out in their mind some form of universe where these mutually exclusive concepts actually are intertwined.

Comfortable Calvinists might actually exist outside the Baptist and Presbyterian denominations. Indeed, a few Lutherans could be put in this category, as could a very few Anglicans. The possibility exists, though highly unlikely, that a CC might exist in the following denominations: Methodist, Catholic, Adventist, even Jehova's Witness (to some extent).


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