Dealing with it

As a continuation of my conversation with my brother from yesterday's post on attachment parenting and the problems it creates for children, let's talk about the root problems. Specifically, the things that I like to call "unintended consequences."

It is often easy to spot the child whose parents believe the attachment parenting lies. This is the child that either cannot handle any emotions or situations that happen outside the realm of what they want, or the child that bullies others so frequently and fervently because they know that there is no punishment looming on the horizon.

These attachment parents are so focused on themselves, that they do not see the harm they are causing in two major ways:

1. The child will later need therapy as he will not learn that life is full of consequences. Only later, once he reaches a fully cognitive state (usually in the early teens for most people), will he begin to learn that there are rewards and consequences in life.

Only later will he learn that the most powerful motivator in life is pain.

Only later will he learn that the second most powerful motivator is fear.

Pain and fear are two things that attachment parents work fervently to keep out of the lives of their child. Problem is, pain and fear are perfectly natural parts of life. Learning to manage pain and fear are essential parts of development. For a normal person, that is.

2. The children bullied by this child will experience undue hardship.
This is the ultimate selfishness shown by attachment parents - a total selfishness and a complete lack of regard for others.



So here is a message to the attachment parents out there:

If you want to permanently scar your child and others:

keep on with the attachment parenting. 

The rest of us will keep at what has worked for thousands of years: powerful motivators and dealing with each part of life as a healthy normal addition.


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