Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Some people

Did you ever when there is a group of people together in a learning environment, there is always one big-mouth who hogs the attention of the instructor. This is done at the cost of moving forward with the material presented. They think they are God's gift to everyone and that he has a perfect right to motor mouth on and quote "facts" and act as if he knows more than the instructor, professor, seminar leader, etc.

But notice: you won't hear them in gatherings like that in boot camp or other military groups because they have to keep their mouths shut. But you will most certainly hear them waxing on and on in the barracks afterward.

This person is clearly saying: "Please look at me!" They want you to pay attention to them more than anything in life. People like this are extremely insecure and have neuroses or feelings they cannot handle in a normal fashion.

They do not feel that they speak too much - instead they feel they speak too little: they have so much to offer to everyone. Little do they realize that they speak so much that they prevent other useful input from other members of the group.  They do not feel good about themselves so they try to take from others to feel better about themselves. They do not know a functional way of feeling better about themselves so they use dysfunctional methods.

They realize that people will give them attention and feed into their manipulations if they take an organization, a person, or whatever and start picking at it, criticizing, accusing it of being (take your choice) dishonest, manipulative, a scam, etc, etc. Then these people get all kinds of attention under the guise of being honest critics. They are simply insecure people who use manipulation to feel good about themselves.

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I'm talking of course of a martial arts instructor I met some years ago at a seminar. Though in all fairness, this observation is true of more than one person I've met over the years, and in more than just the martial arts.  Some people do it in the shooting world. Some do it in church. Some do it in sports. The list goes on.

Often, people like this are bullies. Some have specific motives, while others have no clear motivation other than their own dysfunctional personalities or minds.

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