Some funny stories

Discussing some recent and past "fun" I've had with tuxedo rental, and formal wear places with my newest brother-in-law, I've been urged to put down some thoughts, memories, and funny times. MJ, this one's for you!

ABSTRACT

Measurements:
As I noted in my Guide for Groomsmen, a man should know his measurements. How does one come across his own measurements? Not by measuring oneself. Go to a professional and get measured.

The Asian guy or lady at the local tailor shop that barely speaks English but gets your clothes right every time - good choice.

The local "sales associate" at Men's Wearhouse (or similar chain store) - worst possible choice.

Here's why:
The local tailor has made a livelihood for the better part of two decades in making sure all his customers come back (because he does not get the benefit of $ millions in network advertising) will know exactly how to measure you correctly.

The sales associate at a chain store has likely been working there less than a year, and takes little personal pride in making sure to know exactly how to measure a man or woman. Since they do not have the depth that only comes with experience, they will write down your numbers with a personal question - because you look the same size as their friend, and they KNOW their friend is not that measurement.

So you wind up getting a tux that fits their friend.

How I know:
For this reason, I always call in measurements. I was taught this by my father at age 16, when there was a formal function at school. The tux place measured me wrong. Way wrong. They had to rush-order the correct size tux in. I was frightened that even that one wouldn't fit. Thankfully, it turned out OK.

The next weekend, my dad took me to Cooley's in Chattanooga. The gentleman, Jimmy, who had been there over a decade at the time, measured me. I took note, and memorized my measurements.
PS - Jimmy is still there and can still measure you correctly! He correctly measured my son  (age 5 at the time) for my sister's wedding back in October.

More similar situations:
I have been measured over twenty times by retail associates. Exactly one has measured me correctly. I know this as I've worn the exact same size since age 15 (over 20 years now). I fluctuate, like everyone else, but have never been more than an inch up or down in any measurement. 

My pant size is a 42-30. That means a 42" waist, and a 30" inseam.  I still have a pair of khaki pants in the closet I wore in 10th grade. I measure myself every time before calling in tux measurements with these pants (which still fit the same, BTW).
The kicker - I've been measured as having an inseam anywhere from 27" to 36". Similarly, I've had these retail associates measure my waist at anything from 36" to 51".

My jacket size is a 52-Long. This means I have an over-arm measurement of 58" (which the retail folks almost never have seen - so they fudge the number down and try to order me a smaller jacket). It also means my arms are a sleeve length of at least 36".
The kicker - I've been "measured" at every size from 44-Long to 58-short.

Funny Stuff - 1

Setting: my brother-in-law's wedding (which took place this past weekend).
I call in my measurements to the Men's Wearhouse in Chattanooga. A nice lady working as the sales associate answers.

I explain to her that I live out of town, and need to call in measurements.
She suggests I go to a local store to get measured.
I counter (nicely) by stating that I know my measurements, and will gladly provide them. I advise her that I've been part to over a dozen weddings since 1998 and this is all second nature for me now.
She states again that I need to come in to get measured (most sales associates get the hint by now, but who's counting?).

So I am forced to up the ante. I explain to her that I've never been measured correctly for a tux by a retail associate. I explained that I meant that as no affront to her, or her associates - that it is simply a fact.

She huffs and starts asking questions about measurements. She starts with the jacket.
I explain I am a 52-Long.
She apparently does not want to accept that, so she tries the specific numbers - chest, over-arm, etc.
I re-state: "52-Long."
She asks numbers again.
Again, I re-state: "52-Long - I can wear a 52-Long right off the hanger with no alterations."

She again tries to get me to come into a location so I can be improperly measured.

I calmly and politely advise her that I will be happy to call in my measurements later, since obviously she does not want to do this right now.

That seemed to get her "in the mood" to actually write down a few numbers. For a moment.

We continue. She writes down my jacket, shirt, and pant measurements. Then she asks me my height and weight.

"Six feet two inches. Approximately 260 pounds." I reply.

"There's no way you are a 42-30 in the pants. How tall are you really? 5'8"?"

I remind her that perhaps I need to call back.
She suggests I need to come in to get measured.
"52-Long," I start again.

She forgot to ask my shoe size and shirt sleeve length!



Part 2:
When I went to a local shop to pay, they tried to get me to let them measure me. I declined politely, but made sure to fill them in on the measurements that were missed.
The sales associate all but insists that it would only take a moment to measure me.
I suggest that if I can, as I claim, fit into a 52-long right off the hanger, then perhaps I might be right on the rest of the measurements.
The manager, being a reasonable lady, agrees (over-riding the sales associate who was helping me). I sincerely think she thought I was mistaken.

I asked the sales associate to point me at the brand I should try.
He pointed.
I reiterated "52-long." And then I found a coat of that size.
I put the coat on, and let them inspect it. As usual, the sleeve went to my wrist. The jacket is the perfect size for my torso (perhaps I can now fit a 50-long, since I've lost 25+ pounds in the last year or so, but I was not sure). It looked exactly right.
The manager had a shocked look on her face, and capitulated.
I paid and left. We had several pleasant conversations during that time.

Funny stuff - 2

About ten years ago, I was in the market for a new suit for work. I made the mistake of going to Joseph A. Banks. Again, just like Men's Wearhouse, I am not picking on the chain. Wel, maybe I am a bit, because Jos.A.Banks does one thing that is really funny.

They arbitrarily decide what size pants go with a suit jacket. For jacket size 52-Long, they have selected a pant size of 48 inch waist. Note that like a good outfitter - they sell pants unhemmed and extra long, so that the man can get his pants tailored accordingly. However, the practice of selling a predetermined size pant with the suit is unacceptable.

I found out later that only certain retailers do this - and then only to maximize profits. By forcing you to purchase another pair of pants, they sell more (at a regular markup) and increase profits.

Not only was this practice the funny thing - but the excuse given by the sales associate was laughable. He said that I could go to a tailor and have the pants "taken in a bit." Folks, that works on pants that are an inch or two too big. These pants were the predetermined size 48. I am a size 42. Not gonna work!

... more to come - check back soon!