Wednesday, July 21, 2010

How to translate Liberal Politician Speak

Here is a primer on how to translate Liberal Politician Speak (LPS) into normal, natural English for the rest of us:

Abstract:
It is a well-known fact that politicians frequently make statements in such a way as to only say certain things, and avoid telling the whole truth - particularly if the whole truth is damaging to them. Generally, a politician will avoid all damaging topics, unless forced to comment.

Liberal politicians are especially well-versed in these tactics. Therefore it often becomes necessary to learn from them, as they have mastered the art of LPS to such a degree that one has to treat them as though they are speaking a different language. Here is a how-to guide for the normal english-speaking American:


Step 1
They mean the opposite of what they say.
Example:
Recently, Vice President Biden stated that he didn't think the Tea Party was racist.
Translation: Vice President Biden really means that he thinks the Tea Party is racist.

Step 2
They will say the opposite to distract you.
Example:
Recently, Vice President Biden stated that he did not think the Democrats would lose the House or the Senate in the elections this fall.
Translation: VP Biden thinks the Democrats might well lose both the House and the Senate this fall.
***But, he wanted to distract from something else! In this instance, he wanted to distract people from the fact that he feels the Tea Party is racist. He also wants to distract people from thinking about voting conservative due to the false accusations made by the NAACP.

Step 3
They mean the opposite of what they say on multiple levels.
Example:
Recently, President Obama stated the GOP lacks faith in the American people.
Translation 1: The Democrats lack faith in the American people.
Translation 2: The GOP has faith in the American people.
Translation 3: The President (a Democrat) lacks faith in the American people.

Three accurate translations in normal english for you to ponder.


If any reader has any question on how to interpret the LPS after reading this primer, they are urged to write Usagi for further clarification.

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