Lies as a Way of Life

Sometime back, had someone who attended several classes with me decide to want to become an instructor. This person persevered to do all the things needed to not only be an assistant instructor, but also to move forward to become a full instructor. Nevertheless, there were two things amiss. First, this person has great difficulty communicating, particularly verbally. Second, when this person communicates verbally, it is very often a lie. This was the first red flag, but I failed to acknowledge it then. 

It started in 2020. This person was hired on as part time (later full time) help at the church I attended. There were several claims that made their way to me about this person, but nothing verifiable - only "he said-she said" situations. But I got sick of hearing the question, "who is XXX?" I was hearing that question every week or every other week. Always in conjunction with a request revolving around that church's security team. As I was the Security Team Lead, these discrepancies always made their way back to me. 

One day, XXX was wearing two walkies. I asked why, and he replied that one was for the A/V team, and the other was for the Security team. I asked whom had given him the security team walkie, and he replied that it was the head of the security team. Since I was the head of the security team, and I had not spoken with him before, I found this answer odd... but perhaps there was an explanation. The following week, the same situation occurred, and virtually the same conversation. I asked one more question: "when did the Security team lead say you should wear this walkie?" He replied that it had been that morning. I immediately shot back with "No, I didn't." His eyes went wide! 

A few more weeks, and I hear his name a few more times. But he is no longer wearing the two walkies. But then, the church secretary asked me if I had indeed ordered two extra TV sets for the security team. Of course, I had not. Once again, XXX said it was for the security team. Last straw. 

I approached this individual the following week. "Hey, man... EVERY single week, someone is coming up to me and asking who you are. And I do not know you. Yet you evidently keep saying that this or that is needed for security team. I appreciate you trying to look out for my team, but these things will have to come through me in order to slap the 'Security Team' need on them." 

He made up some mumbo jumbo excuses and left quickly. The following week, he offered a heartfelt apology. 

A few weeks later, he approached me and asked what it would take to join the security team. I advised that he needed his Tennessee Handgun Carry Permit or Armed Guard license, and then we could bring him aboard as an apprentice. I offer the name of some schools who taught the class, as he had indicated he had neither certification. 

A few weeks later, I get a call from a mutual friend, asking why I am "giving XXX so much grief to be on the security team." I advised that I have had ONE conversation with him regarding that, and told him he needed to have his HCP. Call ended. Hmmmm.

Not long after that, XXX got his HCP, and I let him on the team provisionally. He was very young, and perhaps these were all just misunderstandings of an over-eager youth. 

From Day-1, he told me his father had been a Navy SEAL. But over time, things did not add up. Perhaps his father mis-spoke. Perhaps memory was faulty. Perhaps I misunderstood. There are a million things that might be at play. 

But then, he wanted to be a full instructor under me. I put detailed bios together on my instructors. And since his reason for wanting to become an instructor was that his father had been a Navy SEAL, I did the only correct thing and reached out to Don Shipley to see if XXX's father had, indeed, been a  Navy SEAL. Within 24 hours, Mr. Shipley himself called me and we had a conversation. This email summary explains it all:

From Shipley: " I do NOT find a listing in the SEAL Database (SEAL Teams, Underwater Demolition Teams and predecessor units from 1943 to the Present Day) for anyone named GERALD GRANT WILSON.I have also examined possible alternate spellings, and names with similar pronunciations without finding any that appear to be applicable."

A few months later, I have a conversation with XXX about his deceased father, and have the terribly difficult conversation of "your father was not a SEAL." 

I learn not too long after this, that XXX is spreading rumors about me, saying I have "attacked" his family. Have done "evil" [to] his family. 

Since, he has been taking potshots at my training company with condescending comments. And the lies have grown. Lies about teaching classes. Lies about taking classes. Lies about other things, things that are really of no consequence. 

Reminds me of this:

The Collector: ... Why would I lie?
Thanos: I imagine it’s like breathing for you.

Bullet dodged. As usual, it is the ones you help the most, the ones you bend over backwards for, that wind up stabbing you in the back. C'est la vie.

As per usual, this author will supply evidence for any and all claims made herein. The other person cannot.