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A reader wrote me an email, and (with all due respect to the many who have taken the time to comment) this one is the best question I've had so far on this blog.

Usagi, In the Bible, the idea of "loving your neighbor as yourself" is a common theme. I think the idea was that most people will take good care of themselves. But what about people who are self-destructive or harm themselves deliberately? Does that mean they can treat others like crap, since they really don’t care about themselves?

Best.
Question.
Ever.

Seriously, though... I have some thoughts on this (surprise, surprise!):


Self Harm
Self harm is not *just* an attention-seeking behavior. There are other "motivations" involved, as well as attention-seeking. However, attention-seeking IS a part of why people self-harm. All self-harmers are, in part, seeking attention. This is an important part of the overall picture to understand.

Self harm is also partially "motivated" by the person's attempts to control their life / situation. Often, the person feels that their life, or a part of it, is out of control. To go to an extreme to try to control the situation indicates tendencies toward what most people call being a "control freak." This is generally true of self-harmers. This, too, is an important part of the overall picture to understand.

Although self-harm is not always a predictor of suicide, the following associations are known as true:
A) Not all self harm leads to suicide.
But...
B) Almost all people who commit suicide will self-harm prior to the suicide. 

• As many as 90% of self-harmers meet the criteria for one or more behavior disorders, including mood disorders. 
• 60%+ of people who self-harm are female.
• People who self-harm have a high incidence of substance abuse.
• People who self-harm have a high incidence of eating disorders. 
• 80%+ of self harm is done via stabbing or cutting one's own skin.
• Self-harm is often associated with abuse during childhood, or the death of a parent.
• Self-harm is widespread in prison communities.
• Nonhuman animals held captive also demonstrate frequent self-harming behavior.
• People who self-harm often feel some measure of "relief" after the harm is done. 

From these facts, it is easy to see that it is likely that a person who self-harms, often feels "trapped." Indeed, self-harm is often associated with dissociation. This means self-harm is a coping mechanism. 

The Bible
This part is easy. It is my suggestion that the "love your neighbor as yourself" theme of the Bible is twofold:
1. Demonstrate love toward your neighbor. Be kind. Be positive.
2. Demonstrate love toward yourself. Be kind. Be positive.

Given this analysis, it is clear that the "love your neighbor as yourself" theme was intended to be directed at the general population, and not the minority. (Even with skyrocketing incidences of self-harm, it is still a behavior engaged in by far less than 10% of the population)

Other Observations
People who self-harm will often lash out at others... particularly those they are close to or people they hold in high regards.
Some people who self-harm will, on rare occasion, try to incite other people to inflict the harm. People who do this have a very high incidence of bipolar disorder... or worse.
People who engage in risky behavior often exhibit some of the same symptoms, but do not actually inflict the harm on themselves directly. The parallels are often interesting.


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