Divorce Fighting Hints 3

Observing my brother's divorce happen firsthand was a real eye opener. As things went along, it became clear that certain strategies and tactics are more effective than others. Combine that with the martial arts knowledge I've been accumulating for 30+ years, and I formulated some simple tips for someone facing a divorce.

First, let's get some facts straight, so the rest of it makes sense:
Attorneys are not necessarily very intelligent people.
Because judges are largely former attorneys, judges are not necessarily very intelligent people.
To argue one's point effectively, use facts, logic, and plenty of emotion (specifically care for people).
Hire an attorney who is ready and willing for a fight.

Court is all about the money and the visitation rights to the minor child(ren).

Once the divorce has been filed it is no longer time to reconcile. It is time to FIGHT!
Yes, you did some things wrong. Your spouse will bring them up in court.
Yes, your spouse did some things wrong. It is YOUR job to bring those up to your attorney. 
There is a LOT to be said for fighting LOUDEST, LONGEST, and HARDEST.


Divorce Fighting Hint 3: Do not agree to more alimony / child support in exchange for more visitation.
(Consult with local laws and attorneys on this one)
I've seen so many men agree to paying more alimony or child support in exchange for more visitation. In my state of Tennessee, the amount of child support is dictated by state law. Only way you pay more is if you agree to it. Alimony can vary, but rarely exceeds 3 years. Visitation is usually 50/50 unless there are significant prevailing circumstances (criminal record, one spouse lives nearer a better school zone, etc.). Why would one want to pay more to get to this level???

The other side of the coin is this: try to negotiate an arrangement in advance. It is cheaper than a drawn out process. Only bring reasonable offers to the table, as the other side might actually accept them no matter how unreasonable they might be. Mediation is a good thing.

Do not argue about a material possession, the cost of a new one would be $100, and take three hours to argue it: spending $750+ on attorney's fees to obtain it.


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