Monday, August 26, 2013

Divorce Fighting Hints 1

Observing my brother's divorce happen firsthand was a real eye opener. As things went along, it became clear that certain strategies and tactics are more effective than others. Combine that with the martial arts knowledge I've been accumulating for 30+ years, and I formulated some simple tips for someone facing a divorce.

First, let's get some facts straight, so the rest of it makes sense:
Attorneys are not necessarily very intelligent people.
Because judges are largely former attorneys, judges are not necessarily very intelligent people.
To argue one's point effectively, use facts, logic, and plenty of emotion (specifically care for people).
Hire an attorney who is ready and willing for a fight.

Court is all about the money and the visitation rights to the minor child(ren).

Once the divorce has been filed it is no longer time to reconcile. It is time to FIGHT!
Yes, you did some things wrong. Your spouse will bring them up in court.
Yes, your spouse did some things wrong. It is YOUR job to bring those up to your attorney. 
There is a LOT to be said for fighting LOUDEST, LONGEST, and HARDEST.


Divorce Hint 1: Sever ties. 
Presume that all your assets will be taken from you.
Presume that your spouse means to kill you in your sleep.
Presume that the person you've shared your life with for XX years will go out of their way to harm you in court.
Presume your spouse will try to drag friends into the middle of it all.
Presume that there will be no reconciliation.

THERE IS NO GOING BACK!

The minute a person files divorce against you, they have no desire to get back together, I don't care what they say. They want to hurt you and they want to use the court system to do it. Any attempt at amicability should be viewed with extreme suspicion. Expect anything you say or do to be used against you. Expect them to lie about you in court.

Now that we have that settled, you will be ready to fight. That's good, because divorce is a fight.


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