Things Martial Artists Want you to know

Much like the prior thread:

1. We really, really enjoy Martial Arts. As a consequence, even when we know better, we will talk to you about Martial Arts. Just like someone interested in Photography, or Golf, or a Television Show. Please don’t take it as a threat to your ego. We are not challenging you in any way. Just smile and nod like you do to everyone else’s boring stories about interests you don’t have.

2. Also, please don’t take this as an opportunity to spout out "That’s why I carry a 9mm in my car at all times!" We are perfectly aware that Martial Arts training will not stop a bullet. Are you aware that we are currently between you and your car, and our Martial Arts knowledge is not locked in the glove compartment?

3. While we are on that note, nothing it our code of conduct prevents us from owning firearms, either.

4. No, I don’t have to register my hands with the police. No state law says "black belt = deadly weapon".

5. Also, there really isn’t a technique we call "Judo Chop", and asking us to demonstrate it ceased being funny about a week after the first Austin Powers movie.

6. Before you ask, no, I probably could not beat Chuck Norris, Bruce Lee, Steven Segal, Matt Hughes, Royce Gracie, Jet Li, Mike Tyson or Jackie Chan. Safety Tip: Please note that your name is not on this list.

7. While I am at it, I’m sure that your "friend" who is a Navy Seal, 15th Degree Black Belt in seven different Martial Arts, former top secret agent and 6 time state high school wrestling champ would be pretty formidable as well. Of course, in that regard, Harry Potter and Obi Wan Kenobi are equally as formidable and non-existent. (Hint. Just say they were a Navy Seal and leave it at that. Those guys are plenty tough).

8. If someone tells you they practice a martial art that is so secret and so deadly it is banned by the government, illegal to show to anyone, can’t be demonstrated without killing you, etc. be sure to inquire about their ocean view property in Kansas.

9. Yes, I could probably break a cinder block with my hand or head, but I’d rather use a sledge hammer. Heck, I’d rather use your head.

10. I could probably take you down using just two fingers, but since I have all 10 of mine I’ll probably use them all.

11. If you ask me if I can beat you and your two buddies, I honestly don’t know. I might walk away, or your buddies might walk away. I guarantee you that YOU won’t walk away.

12. Yes, if I have been training long enough, I have been beaten. In fact, I have probably been knocked out by a woman, thrown down by a blind man, kicked in the head by a kid, or in some other way beaten by someone that does not compute through your macho thick skull. However, do you really think that improves YOUR chances?

13. When I invite you to come to my class, it is not a threat. It is an invitation to share something that I find very enjoyable with you. Consider it a compliment. (For further information, see number 1 above).

14. Yes, some people train in Martial Arts and do not become great fighters, and some people are great fighters with no martial arts training. However, no matter how good a fighter someone may be, Martial Arts training will make them a better fighter. It will probably make them a better person as well.

15. Also, even in Martial Arts, size does matter. In fact, athletic ability is pretty helpful in Martial Arts just like any physical activity. The starting Left Defensive End for an NFL Football Team is probably going to be a pretty tough fight, even if he hasn’t had any fight training.

16. A Black Belt in one Martial Art does not mean the same thing as a Black belt in other Martial Arts. In many Karate or Tae Kwon Do schools, a Black Belt represents about 2-3 years of training, and can be achieved at age 10 or even younger. In most Judo or Jujitsu schools, a Black Belt may take 7-10 years, and most do not award these ranks to those under 18. If you really want to find out how much experience someone has, ask them how long they have been training.

17. No Martial Art is perfect. Some are better at a distance, some are better close, and some are better versus multiple opponents. Those that try to cover every aspect tend to have much less depth of technique. For example, I would be a lot less worried about the guy who had a year of Jujitsu, a year of Tae Kwon Do and a year of Shotokan than I would about the guy who had three years of any one of these.

18. The reason that I can avoid, block and/or take these strikes, take downs and other attacks so easily is not because of some ancient, mystical secret passed down by a monastic order at the top of a mountain somewhere. It’s because I have been doing this for twenty years.

19. What is the secret of the Martial Arts? Dr. Jigoro Kano, founder of Judo, said it best: "Never Miss Practice!"