Humor of the Day

I find it funny:

Arminians say (usually jokingly) they were "predestined" to be Arminian.

Calvinists say (usually seriously) that they chose to be Calvinist.


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Challenge Accepted

A restaurant in the Chattanooga area, Mountain City Cafe, offers a rare challenge. If you order and eat (within 45 minutes) their Mountain City Burger, you win a free t-shirt, and your challenge meal is free. The challenge meal is $25 if you do not finish, or receive help.

The Mountain City Burger consists of 3 half-pound beef hamburger patties, two quarter-pound hot dogs, six thick slices of bacon, regular hamburger trimmings, and a plate of chili-cheese fries.

At one point, about a half-dozen people had attempted the $25 entree, only to fail to eat the entire thing, much less eat it within the 45-minute time frame.

Then my brother came along. 

He took the challenge and beat it in 22 minutes.

Here's the write-up:

Not being one to sit quietly by and leave a challenge unattended, on my most recent trip to Chattanooga, I, too, took the challenge. In preparation, I did not eat for 24 hours before the challenge. To be fair, I did not eat for 33 hours after the challenge, either.


To date, my brother and I are the only people who have the free t-shirt.

my shirt

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Dishonesty and Misinformation in Calvinism

If you are a Calvinist, you likely know many of Calvin's teachings. You also likely know that Calvin got a good deal of his inspiration from Augustine.

If you are a Calvinist, and you don't acknowledge that Augustine got his inspiration and ideas from pagan beliefs, it means one of two things:

1. You stopped right there. 
This is the type of Calvinist who has read more books on Calvinism than has read the Bible. This person was likely searching for a "rational organization" to the Gospel, found Calvinism, and jumped in the water with both feet (big mistake).

2. You learned of Augustine's inspiration, but dismissed it.
This is the type of Calvinist that knows Calvinism is a twist on scripture. This person is more likely to enjoy online debates and otherwise using your "religion" to infuriate others. This is the person that takes a healthy concept of "playing devil's advocate" to such extremes that they are often dismissed by others in society as being "that guy."


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On Dating 4

From a reader:

"Hey, Usagi,I've read some of your stuff on your brother's divorce. I'm in about the same boat. Got any dating / woman advice for guys like us?"

I do have some advice. Probably the best summary ever is here. But I'll break it down into a weekly segment for you and others.

By Swingset
...

Item 4: Women, real women, do not want a boy. They want a man, so be one. Don't get dickhead haircuts, tribal tats, spinners for your ghey car, the latest trendy clothes or skin care products. These are the tools of vain boys, and a woman does not want these things from you even if she acts like she does. You may get some dates, you may get laid, you may even get married by being a boy.....but bet your @$$ that your woman will dream of a man (which is not you).

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Christian VooDoo

Pentecostal denominations often believe in a sort of shamanism mixed with Christianity. "Spirits will do this or that to you if you don't obey God," and "good will happen if you do obey God." Kinda like the prosperity gospel on steroids and with a dark side.

You ought to Google what they think they are accomplishing when they speak in tongues or lay hands on people. 

Weird stuff.

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Dancing Around the Subject

More and more places are requiring police to wear body cameras. In all reality, this is because of the increased awareness of police brutality and other violations of citizens' rights.

Although these steps are to be applauded, they are not the answer. The real answer is to reset the system such that no person, regardless of badge or other "standing," should have more rights or authority than another.

This is, to me, dancing around the subject matter at hand. People with too much authority abuse said authority. Then we put more laws into effect to try to curb abuses. The real solution is fewer laws and the concept that all men are created equal. 

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Please, NO!

Actress Gwyneth Paltrow recently suggested giving more authority to President Obama than our constitution allows. Effectively, if this were to happen, we would be living in a dictatorship.

Yet again, I am reminded that people like this, although entertaining to watch when they are performing a script, rarely have productive material of their own. Paltrow is certainly good looking, and a talented actress, but political acumen is not among her strengths.


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Say What?!?

Many people "poo-poo" stories of vindictive police abusing their authority because the story originates far from home. Well...

This one originates in my hometown, Chattanooga. 

A police officer accused a popular local Mexican restaurant of running a behind the scenes illegal strip club and gambling operation. These claims are delusional at best. 

I've eaten at El Meson more times than I can count over a 25+ year time frame. They serve excellent Mexican food, and have really competitive prices. Never once have I seen gambling nor stripping happening at their restaurants. My family goes there frequently, and they wouldn't if these things were happening. 

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On Dating 3

From a reader:

"Hey, Usagi,I've read some of your stuff on your brother's divorce. I'm in about the same boat. Got any dating / woman advice for guys like us?"

I do have some advice. Probably the best summary ever is here. But I'll break it down into a weekly segment for you and others.

By Swingset
...

Item 3: To attract women, you need but one thing....to be in charge. Not necessarily of the world or the building you work in, but in charge of your surroundings. You need to be in charge of whatever setting you and the womenz will be in. In any herd of animals, the females obey the alpha. You must be, no matter what the situation, the "guy". You might need to be the funny guy, or the cool guy, or the host, or the entertainer, or even the "taken" one, but you had better be the center of attention that day. To be this thing, you need some confidence, you need your shit in order, and you need some sort of talent that will put you in the alpha spot - no matter if that's at the library or at the night club. Women do not fawn at the slowest, weakest gazelle. They look at what's running out front, and follow. Get your life in order. Women are not laying in the tub right now letting the water hit the pink parts dreaming about a gun nut who's playing Rainbow Six in his mom's basement. You follow?

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Go Back To Hollywood, Fred

Today, I received this flyer in the mail. Below are pictures, front and back. It is a flyer urging people to vote "Yes" on Amendment 2 on the Tennessee ballot this November. I have already voted (early voting) and I voted against the measure. 

You can see Fred Thompson's photo used, as well as a quote from Thompson: 

"Passing Amendment 2 adds new checks and balances so our appellate judges are more accountable to the rule of law and the people of Tennessee."

Problem is, if Amendment 2 passes, then judges will be appointed, not elected. If the measure fails, judges will be elected. How is being appointed to a position adding any checks and balances??? If anything, it is removing the sole check and balance from the equation: having to face the voters and be held directly accountable for your actions.

Furthermore, the second checkmark implies that the passage of this amendment "protects the right of Tennesseans to vote to keep or fire judges at the end of their terms." 

NO - it doesn't!!! 

Should Amendment 2 pass; if Tennesseans are unhappy with an unjust judge, and vote to replace, then there is no provision in the law as written that would mandate the governor to appoint a different person. So the governor might well, in all likelihood, re-appoint the same judge! 

Why can't the companies and organizations listed run this campaign fairly and honestly? I'm sure there are plenty of Tennesseans who wish for judges to be appointed - as they understand that any judge positions in many other states are appointed. 

Because of the dishonesty, I call for a boycott of all the organizations listed:

Farm Bureau of Tennessee

Tennessee Sheriff's Association

Tennessee Business Roundtable

Beacon Center of Tennessee

Tennessee Chamber of Commerce & Industry

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We Eat Meat!

Some of the hows and whys regarding the human meat-based diet origins and evolutionary advantages. Good read. Meat Diet Made Us Smarter.

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Sun is Warm, Grass is Green

According to a study, as reported by Forbes, internet trolls are, indeed, psychos.
Something we all knew, but now the research is out.


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Warrior Dash Recap

A couple of weekends ago, I participated in the 2014 Warrior Dash in Pulaski, TN. This years course was 4 miles and featured a dozen obstacles. My cousin, who had been very interested by my involvement last year, decided to join me. I let him set the pace running. We completed every obstacle.



Breakdown - 
Time completing obstacles: approximately 11 minutes.
Time waiting in line to participate in obstacles: approximately 26 minutes.
Time running: approximately 46 minutes.
Total time: 1:23


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Movie Review: Noah

Yes, the one with Russell Crowe.
Yes, the one so heavily criticized.
Yes, the one that took "artistic license" with the Biblical story.


To be fair, my readers must know that I consider Genesis chapters 1-12 to be largely parable in nature. For example: I believe God created the world, but it wasn't in six literal days.

I will not argue the Biblical inaccuracies of the film - there were plenty. To my taste, it didn't distract from the story. In the film, Noah did not speak to God directly. Therefore, by default, Noah had to speculate as to God's will on some of the finer points. This was strictly for more drama and intense scenes in the end, not for anything else. It did not detract from the core story that mankind's wickedness will be punished.

For me and others like me, the fact that the story of Noah is a parable to begin with is enough for us to accept the creative licenses taken with a [small] grain of salt and still enjoy a slightly-better-than-average creation of Hollywood. The central core of the story of Noah is not lost - believe in God, and do not be wicked.

One thing - I remember many Creationists being up in arms about this film presenting creation and evolution. In the montages dealing with the creation story, both options were left perfectly valid.


I enjoyed it. Not the best movie ever. Not even the best this year. But better than most of Hollywood's crap-ola.

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On Dating 2

From a reader:

"Hey, Usagi,I've read some of your stuff on your brother's divorce. I'm in about the same boat. Got any dating / woman advice for guys like us?"

I do have some advice. Probably the best summary ever is here. But I'll break it down into a weekly segment for you and others.

By Swingset
...

Item 2: Women are 95% a product of the relationship (or lack thereof) between they and their fathers. Men are made by their mothers, women by their dads. If daddy beat them, left them, or otherwise was a s***bag, you had better believe they will not have healthy impulses and chaos will follow them throughout their days. This is an absolute, so trust me when I say, if they don't have a healthy relationship with pops, they're not having one with you either, so f***ing run. Yes, they're going to be fun in the sackeroo, but trust me....run. That other 5% of their nature comes from lucky genetics, but you're not turning that into anything by yourself. You ain't fixing a broken girl, so just run.

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Funny Video

Two video games my son loves: Mario and Minecraft. So when we saw this youtube video, I figured it would be worth a blog post.

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Quote of the Day

Because if God commands you to repopulate the Earth after a great flood, then Jennifer Connolly wouldn't be a bad choice for a wife!

- my brother as we watch Noah on Blu-ray.

Sigma As F%&*

Employee is interviewing for a promotion via telephone. Boss is on the Phone. VP (boss' boss) is on the phone, trying to close the deal.


Employee: "I'm just not sure if I want this promotion. I'd have to move, and the job could be performed just as well from my current location."

VP: "We will offer you $15K more, plus a company car, plus relocation. What's more, you can take 6 months to move here."

silence... 

Employee: (pretending to mull it over) "Fair. OK, I will discuss this with my wife, to see if she has additional input that I might wish to consider, and I will get back with you in 48 hours with my answer."

VP (trying to alpha-up): "What else is there to consider? Your boss made the initial offer a week ago. You should tell us by the end of the day or we will pick someone else."

Employee: (laughter) "You've got to be kidding me! Only a great fool would want to promote someone into a position where good judgment will be required, only to mandate that the person make a decision spur-of-the-moment. I'll get back to you in 48 hours... and go."


Sigma

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How is This Possible?

From a reader:

Usagi, I have seen your post on HR people. What about wacky managers? Anything interesting there? Funny reviews?

Indeed. I could go on about this one... for years.

Once read a 30-day review which included the following phrase: " you started off with a bang, but have cooled off a bit since then."

Not sure how it is even possible to evaluate all of that in the span of only 30 days.

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On Dating 1

From a reader:

"Hey, Usagi,I've read some of your stuff on your brother's divorce. I'm in about the same boat. Got any dating / woman advice for guys like us?"

I do have some advice. Probably the best summary ever is here. But I'll break it down into a weekly segment for you and others.

By Swingset
...

Item 1: Do not listen to what women have to say about women. They are not privy to the keen powers of self-instropection, nor are they honest when the mirror paints the picture of womanhood in a less-than-flattering light. If women were to be trusted about how they tick, we'd all have it figured out, and women would be happy. Society is afraid of saying what I am, that women have been led to believe they are a noble half of the human race, and more suited to matters of the heart. Fact is, they're just as clueless as you. Next.

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The Next Biden???

Rarely do you find a single person who is the source of so very much fail outside of Washington. Well evidently, Lebanon, TN Mayor Phillip Craighead wants to give Vice President Joe Biden a run for his money in that department.

Lebanon voters recently turned down an opportunity to increase their own sales tax (good for them!). From this article, here are some quotes full of fail from the mayor:

“It was an option to take the load off of the citizens..."

How on Earth is a tax INCREASE going to take the load off the citizens???

"...and provide us with a new revenue stream,”

The sole bit of truth by Craighead in the article

“We have to go back to the drawing board to figure out what we’re going to do to fund things like a new fire hall and road paving.”

What about the $12 Million in the city's rainy-day fund? What about the $1 Million in bonuses the city just paid out? The city of Lebanon is not broke. 

“I went out to six different neighborhoods and had total support,” 

Maybe they told you what you wanted to hear... like you did to them to get elected?!?!

“They understood it, but they just didn’t take the time to vote. I can’t drag them up here."

You sure about that? You intentionally chose a Tuesday in September (instead of the main election in November) specifically so there would be a lower voter turnout - something you needed to force this on the people. 

"We gave them an opportunity to reduce people’s property taxes, but we couldn’t do it." 

There was no measure on the ballot to reduce property taxes... only to increase the local sales tax. You know you are being disingenuous here - you never were going to lower property taxes.  

"I don’t know how we will keep up with all the things we need to fix.

Maybe government is not the solution?!?!

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Bend, But Don't Break

So apparently, folks are all "bent out of shape" with the new iPhone 6 (pun intended).

For those who haven't heard: the phone bends under ordinary pressure, and the screen breaks if you try to bend it back into place. 

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Real Life

A few weeks ago, at the most recent Invicta event, I watched Michelle Waterson defend her Invicta Atomweight championship. Waterson's nickname is "The Karate Hottie." I wondered what style of karate is practiced by Waterson. A Google search yielded American Freestyle Karate as the answer.

However, one of the things that pooped up was Waterson's participation in the MTV show "Bully Beatdown." In both the striking and grappling rounds, Waterson toyed with the bully:

Not ironically, the next one I clicked on was Jason "Mayhem" Miller vs. another bully:

It always amazes me when untrained people think for a moment that they can "last" against a trained fighter... or even score a surprise victory. That's mostly Hollywood stuff.


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Middle Name "God"

Judge Michael Donio.

Despite my best efforts, I have been unable to determine Donio's middle name. However, I'm beginning to to think his middle name is "God." Here's why, and here's why you need to know the name of this judge:

Michael "God" Donio is the idiot who determined Ray Rice not be jailed, despite the fact (as shown by video evidence) that Rice physically assaulted his wife.

Michael "God" Donio is the idiot who determined that Shaneen Allen be jailed for carrying a legally owned gun into New Jersey. Allen had a Pennsylvania carry permit.

When you can explain this, I'll stop blogging.


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